From Sceptic to Believer

At first I was sceptical about sponsorship. The Desert Flower Foundation scheme of sponsoring a little girl by having a supporter pay a monthly donation to the girl’s family to keep her safe from FGM, seemed like a BRIBE, especially if the parents still BELIEVED in the cruel practice.

I have a strong opinion that it is essential to transform the mind-set of African families and communities to achieve real change. To stop this widespread crime requires a dynamic, grassroots movement of educating women, men and children in every village across Africa and every country where FGM is an entrenched custom. We need to dig it out by its poisonous roots.

Leading anti-FGM campaigner, Waris Dirie herself had similar doubts about sponsorship, expressed in her latest thought-provoking book Saving Safa.  

Safa is the adorable little girl from Djibouti who played the role of Waris as a child in the movie of her life, Desert Flower, which was released to cinemas in 2009, bringing to world attention the horrific crime of Female Genital Mutilation.

The Desert Flower Foundation formed a contract with Safa’s parents to provide on-going food supplies and necessities in exchange for a legal agreement that they would not subject their daughter to FGM.

Four years later, when Safa was seven, Waris received a letter from the courageous little girl expressing fear that she was at risk. Shocked and alarmed, Waris immediately jumped on a plane to visit the family living in Balbala, an impoverished refugee slum on the outskirts of Djibouti city.

Safa’s mother, Fozia revealed her true feelings in an outburst of rage: “We are shunned because we have an unclean, uncircumcised daughter….You know what happens to women who don’t submit to the traditions….we have to live with this shame that you have laid upon us! Safa is an outsider. In our village – everywhere. We are all outsiders.”

Waris sadly realised that the family cared more about being accepted and respected in the village than for the health and happiness of their daughter.

And in a confrontation with Safa’s obstinate father, Waris realised: “Idriss had shown his true colours when he said that his family needed the money and food the foundation provided every month. Safa’s parents still weren’t convinced of the cruelty and senselessness of female genital mutilation. They were sparing their daughter for purely economic reasons.”

And this is the core of the issue. It is not effective to bribe poor families to spare their daughters if they are doing it for the wrong reasons: for money.

Such a cynical arrangement leads to resentment and the risk they will cave in to community pressure.

YES, WE well-off folks must assist disadvantaged families by extricating them from the soul-destroying trap of poverty. Horrendous poverty is at the bitter heart of this entrenched abuse. Families mutilate their daughters to make them “clean and pure” and marriageable so they fetch a good “bride price”.

Ignorance is also the heavy rock holding the custom in place from generation to generation. WE, in the developed world, must partner with our African sisters and brothers, daughters and sons, to spread information about the dangers of FGM to eradicate distorted beliefs. We must also appeal to parents’ love for their children; their natural instincts to nurture and protect their daughters from harm, pain and suffering.

In the end Waris won over Safa’s father, pulling him back from the brink of despair to realise there is hope for widespread change in his homeland – through financial support of families along with dynamic education. Idriss is now taking a stand against FGM in his community.    

I am a convert. I now believe sponsorship has a vital role to play, so long as the support goes hand in hand with grassroots education about the horrors of FGM. And “hand-outs” should be a starting point for empowering families and villages to become self-sustaining. 

Here’s why I believe the Desert Flower Foundation sponsorship scheme is worth supporting:

1. Sponsorship is an expedient, efficient, quick and easy way people in well-off countries can instantly help stop the atrocity of FGM. Not everyone can go to Africa to volunteer to spread the word. Not every individual can give a massive donation, but we can all make affordable, monthly payments.

2. The Multiplier Effect. If every woman in well-off countries sponsored just one little girl and her family, well...imagine...the result would be millions of girls saved from mutilation and a lifetime of suffering.

3. Sponsoring one little girl and one family is very personal. You bond and connect and get to know and love your Sponsor Child and her family. Instead of being generic charity, taking responsibility for just one little person makes your contribution very real. 

4. I’ve had first-hand experience of sponsoring a child through Compassion for over 10 years. I started supporting Eyael, who lives in Ethiopia, when she was just eight and now she is a beautiful young woman of 18. I haven’t missed the £20 per month and yet this small amount has transformed her life and eased her family’s hardship. A lasting commitment to sponsorship really works.

  

I just signed on to sponsor a little Desert Flower. I look forward to getting to know her and her family and village. I feel this commitment is a great honour and the beginning of a journey together.

You too can sponsor a little Desert Flower - and save her from trauma and transform her future - through the Desert Flower Foundation.

Post Script August 4, 2016 
Since doing the Tostan training in Community-led Development in Senegal in July this year, I now believe there is a more effective method to stop Female Genital Cutting of precious young girls. 
Tostan's grassroots movement to educate women, men and youth in remote villages through a life-changing three-year Community Empowerment Program (CEP) in their own language has led to  the abandonment of the harmful practice of FGC in over 700 communities throughout West Africa. 
The Community Empowerment Program is set to spread throughout the continent of Africa to achieve widespread social change. This is the breakthrough needed to save little girls and women from a lifetime of suffering.

   

Dispelling the Myths

 The white businessman joked: “The campaign to stop Female Genital Mutilation is a fight to Save the Clitoris!”

I was horrified and struck dumb! I wanted to retort: “Well it’s not really about saving a body part. We are fighting to save little girls from the horrendous trauma of being deliberately maimed which causes them to suffer for the rest of their lives.”

Girls who are “circumcised” at a young age – they can be defenceless babies or toddlers or sweet fun-loving kids of seven or eight – suffer shock, massive blood loss and infection that can kill them. If they survive the assault they suffer on a daily basis - every time they wee is painful and later they suffer agony with every menstrual period.

When a girl is married off, the husband forces himself on his “pure, virginal bride” and sex is an agonising ordeal for her. Pain during intercourse continues for life. 

Normal childbirth is painful enough, but for a circumcised woman childbirth is excruciating and risks multiple complications for the baby and mother; one being the appalling condition of obstetric fistula when the vaginal wall is torn and the woman is forced to live with leakage, causing shame and ostracism. 

In her latest book, Saving Safa, leading anti-FGM activist, Waris Dirie writes about her meeting with paediatrician Dr Emma Acina who treats countless victims of FGM in her clinic in Djibouti.

Dr Acina says: “You can’t imagine the awful injuries I see here every day: little girls with chronic inflammation of the vagina, bladder and kidneys; girls with tumours the size of tennis balls growing on scar tissue that just keeps spreading; young women unable to pass urine and others whose mutilation has made them incontinent; young children who can’t get a wink of sleep because of the pain.“

The white woman quipped: “If you go to Africa to try to stop FGM you won’t be popular with the men!”

Again I was shocked and struck dumb and floundered in my response. I wanted to express my indignation. “Don’t you know anything about FGM! How could you trivialise this outrageous crime against innocent children! My motivation to campaign against FGM is not about my popularity!

However her uninformed comment got me thinking about the male perspective. Wouldn’t a husband want a healthy, happy wife – a woman who had not had her vagina mutilated – who could enjoy making love and experiencing orgasm and sharing the pleasure of sex as part of a loving, equal, respectful relationship? Aren’t there benefits for men too in saving women from this atrocity? Loving sex should not be enmeshed with pain, female submission and male dominance.

Some white academics theorise, ensconced in their ivory towers, that white “outsiders” should not meddle with the customs of other cultures.

This attitude makes me so furious I can barely speak. I want to say to these academics: “What if a culture had the custom to cut off a child’s arm – to deliberately maim the child for life? Would we standby and accept it as their right to practise a custom? Or we would consider cutting off children’s arms a shocking crime to be stopped at all costs?

The passive attitude of acceptance is the stance of the Enabler on the Abuse Triangle; turning a blind eye to the Perpetrator’s abuse of the Victim. 

Slicing off girls’ genitals against their will is not some eccentric custom like ear piercing or body tattoos, which are personal choices and mostly harmless.

FGM is a violent crime, extreme child abuse and a human rights violation that goes beyond a cultural custom. This atrocity is a global issue that demands “outside” intervention to protect innocent children in the same way international charities intervene in suffering countries with humanitarian aid.

The point is, the international community should not tolerate the harmful practices of insular cultures. When anyone breaks the law and commits what widespread humanity considers a crime (doing harm to another human being) we need Zero Tolerance.

We need top-down legislation that views FGM as a crime and condemns the custom, with legal consequences for perpetrators; the old women welding rusty razor blades and their accomplices who drag little girls from their beds into secret places to hold them down while 'the cutter' hacks away at tender flesh and then closes the wound with thorns.

To stop these acts of unimaginable cruelty, we also need a dynamic “bottom-up” widespread education movement that works in villages at the grassroots level to challenge and change the “social norms” that keep the practice going from one generation to the next.

We need intervention to break the generational cycle so that the trauma inflicted on the grandmother and mother is not inflicted on the daughter because cutting has been “normalised” as something we have always done (as if tradition imbues abuse with dignity and merit.)

However the way “outside help” is given is important; not in a patronising, superior, forceful way but in an equal, respectful collaborative partnership, where white women join with their black sisters, united as women (regardless of colour) and as human beings (regardless of nationalities and cultures) offering the benefits of the knowledge, skills and resources we have to share to empower girls and women.

“Outsiders” from the developed world need to work alongside women in other cultures, in a respectful collaboration as equal partners in the cause, not in a rescuing and patronising way, to create deep and lasting cultural change. We need to change a collective mind set, not easy but possible.

Superstitions such as the belief that circumcision makes a girl clean, chaste and marriageable need to be challenged by rationality and education about female anatomy and the permanent damage to physical and mental health caused by FGM. We need to educate about human rights and gender politics so families and communities learn to trust and respect their womenfolk and not attempt to control them out of shame of sexuality and fear of female empowerment.

Outsiders like me who are passionate about this cause want to empower women and men and children in Africa, the Middle East, Asia and other countries where this atrocity is carried out against 8000 innocent girls every day; that’s three million a year; 30 million victims in the next ten years if we do not intervene to break the generational cycle.

According to UNICEF 150 million girls and women worldwide are living with the terrible effects of FGM. We want to stop this shocking statistic from increasing. We want to end FGM and consign it to the horrors of history.

The atrocity is embedded in the concrete of poverty. Charities, NGOs and governments must assist communities to break free from the injustice of poverty – to partner in food growing, supplying clean water and sanitation, decent housing, school for kids, jobs for men and women and medical facilities – the basics of life we all deserve – for villages across Africa and other countries.

It can never be acceptable to maim little girls so they are considered “clean” to fetch a good “bride price” from husbands. The enticement of a bride payment for their daughters should never be the way to ease the burden of crushing poverty.

What really enrages me is that this lifelong disability is caused deliberately.

Parents everywhere experience a heart breaking tragedy when their baby is born with an illness or disability and can blame the unfairness of fate.

However when a child is deliberately maimed for life how can we comfort ourselves? Such a disability can be prevented. And it’s up to you and me to be outraged and fired up to save innocent children from such indefensible cruelty.

Today I sponsored one little girl and her family through the Desert Flower Foundation to save her from FGM and transform her life. That’s one less victim, a drop in the ocean of suffering. However if we all saved one little girl...well...imagine…we could dry up that blood red ocean of suffering forever.

Read Waris Dirie’s heart-wrenching books, Desert Flower, Desert Dawn, Desert Children and Saving Safa and see her triumphant film, Desert Flower.

            

The Cruelest Cut of All

Some people might dismiss what is euphemistically called 'female circumcision' as a custom of other cultures that we in the UK should accept as their right; a 'social norm' we should not judge or condemn.

However if a sweet, innocent, adorable little toddler was wandering down the street, laughing and playing and was suddenly grabbed by a gang of thugs, dragged into the bushes, held down, and had her legs forced apart and her genitals sliced up, you would consider this a crime, the worst possible crime imaginable. 

This violence against children is legislated as a crime in most countries.

Yet this is what is happening to 8000 little girls every day, almost three million girls a year, justified as a custom, a tradition, in the name of religion, which outsiders must not interfere in!

The United Nations (UN) and World Health Organisation (WHO) estimate that worldwide 200 million women and girls are currently living with the consequences of Female Genital Mutilation. A further 30 million girls are at risk of being cut in the next decade across Africa, the Middle East, Asia and other countries. However, this figure underestimates the real number of girls affected. Even in the UK, it’s estimated that 170,000 women are living with FGM and 65,000 girls are at risk of being mutilated right here in the 'civilised' UK when migrants and refugees bring this entrenched custom with them.

This atrocity, this unspeakable brutality, is not done by Whites to Blacks. It is done by Blacks to Blacks; specifically by black women on behalf of black men against little black girls, their own daughters. These mothers do not hate their daughters. They believe the cutting is an "act of love" to ensure their daughters are "clean" and marriageable.

It is the mother who holds down the toddler while an old woman with a rusty razor blade, a knife, scissors or piece of glass cuts into the delicate flesh of the terrified, screaming child, with no anaesthetic, causing agonising pain and emotional trauma.

Many girls die of blood loss, shock and infection. If she survives, the traumatised child will be left with a raw wound where the clitoris and lips of her vagina have been cut off and in the case of 'infibulation', she has been sewn up leaving only a tiny hole.

The reason for this barbarous cruelty? To preserve her virginity for marriage and to obliterate her sexual desires and the risk of infidelity to her future husband; to keep her pure, to ensure she experiences not pleasure, but abject pain with sexual intercourse. In the case of infibulation, the bride is cut open by the groom on her wedding night. 

In many poor communities circumcised daughters command a high 'bride price' as mutilation and infibulation is meant to ensure virginity.

Ultimately FGM is about power and control over female sexuality, which has become entrenched as a social norm in countless communities for generations.

For this enforced control, she will suffer health problems and pain her whole life. And emotional and psychological damage.

The African woman is condemned to a lifetime of suffering every time she urinates and during menstruation, sexual intercourse and childbirth.

The mutilation of her genitals means she has a high risk of complications when giving birth and is likely to suffer obstetric fistula. This horrendous condition occurs during childbirth when the narrow birth canal is torn leaving a hole in the wall of the vagina between the bladder or rectum which means the woman will suffer leakage, leading to a life of shame and ostracism from her community. 

Unlike male circumcision, which cuts off loose skin on the penis, female circumcision cuts off flesh and removes part of the clitoris, a vital body organ, filled with highly sensitive nerve endings. Female circumcision is really female castration. And castration is disempowering in every way. 

How can African women ever be empowered to pursue education and work to transform communities alongside men, if they are maimed and suffer incapacitating pain their whole lives?

How can women enjoy satisfying, loving sex lives with their husbands if they suffer pain, fear and shame with intercourse? How can she feel self-esteem and pride in being a sexual woman?  

I watched the brilliant movie Long Walk To Freedom about the extraordinary life of revered leader, Nelson Mandela and the struggle of the South African people for freedom, equality and democracy. And yet for all the freedom fighting, sacrifice of lives and ultimate political victory, the atrocity of FGM against innocent children continues in the continent of Africa, (and other countries), tacitly sanctioned as a generational custom, with authorities turning a blind eye, even in countries where it is illegal.

In these days of easy access to information through the global reach of the internet, people around the world must be informed and take a stand against this widespread crime against children. 

FGM is a specialised form of child abuse, a human rights abuse, a violation of humanity of the worst kind, and must be stopped urgently. Caring women and men around the world must help save the lives of millions of girls and stop the cruelest cut of all; stop Female Genital Mutilation NOW. We must also offer help to the 200 million victims of FGM - reparative surgery and emotional support to reclaim their empowerment. 

Take action. Read Waris Dirie’s captivating books Desert Flower, Desert Dawn, Desert Children and Saving Safa and watch the inspirational movie Desert Flower. 

Let us all join minds, hearts and hands around the world with wisdom, compassion and courage to stop the cruelest cut of all.

Reviving my Inner Lois Lane

I am a natural campaigner, a passionate activist. Give me a good cause and I will fight for it. This is the essence of who I am. 

When I am campaigning for social justice, for human rights, for animal protection, to save the environment, to stop wars and stop all kinds of abuse, I am empowered. I lose my inhibitions, fired with confidence, determination and steely focus. 

As a child I decided to be clever at school. Cleverness was my strategy of choice to win approval and attention. I was the first kid in the classroom to shoot my hand in the air with the correct answer to impress my teacher. I was the Eager Beaver who did their homework straight away and proudly presented huge project sheets with fancy headings and drawings and diagrams.

Every day after school, I raced home across the park to plonk myself in front of the little Black & White telie with a big mug of Milo and fist full of biscuits to watch in riveted awe The Adventures of Superman. You know, the original 1950s version starring dashing George Reeves.

But it wasn’t the invincible caped flying man who captured my adoration. That feisty female reporter, Lois Lane was my idolised hero. She was my first Career Woman role model; a fearless investigative journalist who scooped the front-page story and even got a By Line! Lois Lane inspired me to become a crusader.

At the age of 11 in Grade Six, I discovered the school newspaper and the power of the Roneo Machine to mass-produce my stories with my by-line to go into every home in the district! My first published article was about my cat! Doesn’t matter, I felt 10 feet tall!

When I was 17, I started reading late into the night, not my prescribed Literature classics, but books about cruelty to animals in producing meat and the convincing case for being a Vegetarian. Empowered, I embraced my first cause and harangued everyone at the dinner table about the horrors of abattoirs.

At Uni, the crusading journalist Donald Woods gave a rousing talk about the injustice of Apartheid in South Africa and the police killing of black activist, Steve Biko. I faithfully reported every word and devoted a double page spread in the student newspaper to the issue! I was the Editor I could do what I liked!

I joined Amnesty International, Movement Against Uranium Mining and the Peace Movement and when I became a newspaper journalist in Australia I campaigned for every worthy cause in my local community. Isolated on our far-flung island, I was cut off from global issues. The big wide world would have to wait.

The time has arrived. I now live in the UK close to the action, where the Big Issues happen. The Campaigner in me has been re-activated at the young old age of 58. I have rediscovered the fire in my belly. Join me as I unleash my Inner Lois Lane.