This is the beginning

I’m going on a journey into the unknown and I want you to join me as I face challenges and miracles.

I’m not climbing Kilimanjaro or hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. My journey is not as physically gruelling as those heroic feats. Mine is a journey of the mind and heart; a journey with a goal, not for personal achievement, but to make a contribution to others.   

I am documenting my journey in this blog called Humanity Matters. Throughout my career as a journalist I’ve written about what matters; Family Matters, Relationship Matters, Health Matters, Travel Matters, Midlife Matters. And all these subjects really did matter at different stages of my life.

However as I approach 60, I’ve arrived at a vantage point where one subject concerns me deeply and urgently: the suffering of humanity. I am gripped by a passionate desire to work to reduce suffering and increase joy.

I want to live a life of purpose and meaning and I want to Make a Difference - a positive one – to the lives of others. When this desire took hold five years ago, I lacked focus. I did some volunteer work in Ghana in 2012. My efforts were well intentioned but generalised and undirected. There are so many worthy causes and charities to work for, I wanted to embrace them all.

Then two years later I started asking myself the question, ‘If I could pick one worthy cause to champion, what would it be?’ And ‘Bingo’ I got the answer.    

I’ve long been horrified by the shocking human rights violation, the vicious crime against the innocent, the ultimate form of child abuse – the deliberate maiming of millions of little girls through the practice of female genital mutilation (FGM).

I researched and wrote about the subject for over two years to understand the complex issues and to discover the most effective way to put an end to an entrenched custom that dates back 2000 years that condemns little girls to an unimaginable trauma and a lifetime of pain and suffering.

Can you imagine 8000 girls a day, that’s three million girls a year, are subjected to FGM around the world. Tragically 30 million girls in the next 10 years will be maimed if we do not stop this crime. Already 200 million women are living with the horrendous health consequences of being cut as a child.

That’s when I discovered the work of pioneering American educator Molly Melching, who while living in Senegal for many years developed an innovative program of empowerment for girls and women.

Her work, through the charity Tostan, is so successful; I want to join her team to introduce the life-changing program across Africa. 

“Tostan” is a Wolof word meaning the hatching of an egg, the precise moment the chick emerges from the shell. The evocative word expresses the essence of ‘break through’ and ‘new life’.

And I am inspired. I want to stop FGM – not just from a safe distance – but on the ground – in the country where a rusty razor blade is used on tender flesh on a daily basis.

And so I am setting off on a journey next week – a slightly courageous one - to Senegal in West Africa to be trained in Molly’s method with the big dream of taking the Tostan program to remote villages throughout East Africa.

This is a heavy, disturbing issue and it would be easy to feel outraged with anger and bitterness that fuel a fire in the belly against this child abuse and the old women who inflict it, the mothers who allow it and the patriarchal social system that demands that ‘brides be clean’.

However I would rather be motivated by conviction; to be inspired by what I stand for, which promotes value (while anger devalues). And what I stand for is empowering women in Africa; human rights and social justice; protecting children; humanitarian work and compassion and kindness.

Do you stand for these values? Will you join me on my journey of discovery and read my posts because Humanity Matters; it really does.

The Art of ‘Generativity’ – Finding Purpose through Giving to Future Generations

Some of the elderly residents in the retirement village have twinkling eyes, a ready joke and full calendars! Other resident are full of hatred and bitterness and petty grievances. One old man is convinced his gardening spade has been stolen, an indignant old lady is furious about the bossy bitch who has taken over the social committee.

In loud conversations on driveways, they compare and compete about their painful ailments, the heart scares, the bad knees, the hip ops, the emergency hospital visits, without listening or caring about the other’s suffering.

Another faction villifies, in vicious huddles, those horrible dogs that leave messes on their manicured lawns and vehemently condemns irresponsible dog-owners. They should be thrown in jail!

The wrinkled, hunched old wives grip the flabby arms of their senile husbands when a younger woman walks by and smiles ‘Hello’; jealously guarding the old relic and oozing envy for the youth she has lost; buried photo memories deep in the drawer with the sparkly ear rings she once wore, dazzling the dance floor with haughty elegance!

I am fearful of ending up like this; shrinking smaller and smaller and withering, bitter and twisted, lonely and isolated, in a segregated old people’s ghetto, discarded by mainstream community, waiting…waiting for something? What is it? Are these cranky old folks aching for Grace; for Love to swoop in, like a huge soft white dove, and cradle them, a visit from the ungrateful grown-up children who are busy with their interesting lives.

Perhaps they are waiting for genuine friendship that pierces their dense armour of complaints and touches the heart with lightness, joy, humour and gratitude in still being alive! Or perhaps they are waiting to be recognised as useful; the realisation by youngsters that all their years of experience must be good for something!  

Erik Erikson was a German-born American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst (1902 – 1994) who extended the developmental theories of Freud to include the entire lifespan.

Erikson identified eight stages of development, not just in childhood, but right throughout life into old age and death. He claimed each stage held an inherent struggle and desired outcome.

He claimed from birth to age one, the baby has to resolve a crisis between Trust and Mistrust of parents or caregivers with the desired outcome of Hope; from one to two, the toddler grapples with Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt with the desired outcome of Will; from age three to five, the young child faces a crisis of Initiative over Guilt within the family with the desired outcome of Purpose. From age six to 11, the child is challenged with Industriousness over Inferiority at school with a desired outcome of Competence.

Stage Five, Adolescence, brings conflict between Identity and Role Confusion within peer groups with the desired outcome of Fidelity, the ability to be true to an integrated sense of self.

In Young Adulthood, the challenge is finding Intimacy over Isolation with a spouse and amongst friends with the desired outcome of Love.

Which brings us to Stage Seven, Middle Adulthood where we are challenged to discover “generativity”, a term coined by Erikson, rather than self-absorption within our family, community and work. The desired outcome is Care.

Generativity means the ability to look beyond yourself and to express concern for the future of the world and younger generations. The self-absorbed person is preoccupied with personal wellbeing and material gain.

When I hit 50 I was also hit with an overpowering desire to go MAD; that is, to Make a Difference to the world. I wanted to contribute to solving problems and reducing suffering on a global level. Having lived more than half of my life, the balance was tipped to the approach of the end and I started thinking about legacy, concerned about what I would leave behind after I’m gone.

So that is when my husband and I migrated from far-flung Australia to the UK to be close to the centre of the world stage, where we felt better placed to make a positive difference to global issues.

My progress in making a difference on a grand scale has been slow. I’ve done much soul searching about my talents and skills and researched causes and charities to support.

On my 57^th birthday we had a night out in London and saw the brilliant stage show War Horse, with the most talented, creative performers operating intricate life-like puppets, singing, dancing and acting with utter perfection to tell a glorious, triumphant story.

The next day I took to my bed and my journal and tried to figure out what I was good at! I realised that I am not a perfectionist who could spend hours every day for years mastering an instrument or difficult skill. I searched my formative years and remembered how I discovered the joy of writing stories at age 11 and the thrill of being published! 

Then at 17, I discovered the empowerment of becoming a vocal campaigner! And I recalled how I was a passionate activist in my 20s; how in my 30s I was elected a local government councillor to work for my community.

Then in my 40s I experienced a crisis and wallowed in a bottomless lake of therapy and self-analysis and had to wade my way back to focusing on others. And so we left the endless summer of coastal Queensland and came to bustling London for a new lease on life. And these years of my fifties have been wonderful, full of city pleasures, exciting travel and adventures!

So at 57, I was reminded of my true Purpose (beyond fun times) and decided to devote the rest of my life to using my writing skills to campaign for good causes; human rights, peace, animal and environmental protection; all the good stuff that will allow our damaged world to heal, survive and flourish in the future.

Now I am nearly 59 and I am ready. I am passionately committed to future generations of girls across Africa discovering their human rights and becoming empowered, free from abuse, suffering and poverty. This is my mission for my sixties, for the next decade of my life.

If a person in their 50s, 60s and 70s shifts focus to making a difference for others, then he or she will face old age with a sense of dignity, satisfaction and personal fulfillment.

Middle-aged and older people thrive when they use their lifetime of experience to mentor teenagers and young adults or lavish patient love on grandchildren or volunteer in community, environmental or humanitarian projects.

Those mature-aged people who choose to contribute rather than expecting to be coddled by the young and fit are ironically the ones who thrive with a sense of purpose, joy and gratitude, despite their aches and pains.

The elderly do not have to end up bitter and twisted, nursing grudges and resentment, burdened by a sense of futility and despair, disappointment and failure.

If we need role models, consider the inspirational David Attenborough, who has devoted his life to educating us all about the wonders of animals and the natural world. He continues in his creative film making at the sprightly age of 89.

In Old Age, the final stage of life, Stage Eight according to Erikson, we face a struggle between Integrity and Despair. And the desired outcome is Wisdom.

I hope that Wisdom will lead you in your mature years to Integrity; the choice to make a difference for future generations because “generativity” is the hope of the future.

Reviving my Inner Lois Lane

I am a natural campaigner, a passionate activist. Give me a good cause and I will fight for it. This is the essence of who I am. 

When I am campaigning for social justice, for human rights, for animal protection, to save the environment, to stop wars and stop all kinds of abuse, I am empowered. I lose my inhibitions, fired with confidence, determination and steely focus. 

As a child I decided to be clever at school. Cleverness was my strategy of choice to win approval and attention. I was the first kid in the classroom to shoot my hand in the air with the correct answer to impress my teacher. I was the Eager Beaver who did their homework straight away and proudly presented huge project sheets with fancy headings and drawings and diagrams.

Every day after school, I raced home across the park to plonk myself in front of the little Black & White telie with a big mug of Milo and fist full of biscuits to watch in riveted awe The Adventures of Superman. You know, the original 1950s version starring dashing George Reeves.

But it wasn’t the invincible caped flying man who captured my adoration. That feisty female reporter, Lois Lane was my idolised hero. She was my first Career Woman role model; a fearless investigative journalist who scooped the front-page story and even got a By Line! Lois Lane inspired me to become a crusader.

At the age of 11 in Grade Six, I discovered the school newspaper and the power of the Roneo Machine to mass-produce my stories with my by-line to go into every home in the district! My first published article was about my cat! Doesn’t matter, I felt 10 feet tall!

When I was 17, I started reading late into the night, not my prescribed Literature classics, but books about cruelty to animals in producing meat and the convincing case for being a Vegetarian. Empowered, I embraced my first cause and harangued everyone at the dinner table about the horrors of abattoirs.

At Uni, the crusading journalist Donald Woods gave a rousing talk about the injustice of Apartheid in South Africa and the police killing of black activist, Steve Biko. I faithfully reported every word and devoted a double page spread in the student newspaper to the issue! I was the Editor I could do what I liked!

I joined Amnesty International, Movement Against Uranium Mining and the Peace Movement and when I became a newspaper journalist in Australia I campaigned for every worthy cause in my local community. Isolated on our far-flung island, I was cut off from global issues. The big wide world would have to wait.

The time has arrived. I now live in the UK close to the action, where the Big Issues happen. The Campaigner in me has been re-activated at the young old age of 58. I have rediscovered the fire in my belly. Join me as I unleash my Inner Lois Lane.